Facing Your Friends and Fears
by CloudsSystem
Summary: Marco is forced to come out by the cube from Sleepover when it inquires about the gender of the participants as Question #1 Trans girl marco, nonbinary star. After being forced to come out to Jackie and Janna, Marco explores more about being trans and her own gender, finally having someone else than Star who knows (even if by an accident) Definite JanStar to come
1. You can't hide from your feelings

When Pony Head said that we should all play a fun game, I thought _what the heck, what's the worst that could happen_. We all walked upstairs to Star's room and I felt better knowing that everybody wasn't staring at me anymore. I knew that I was wearing this outfit to impress Jackie (and for literally no other reason), and that everybody seeing me in this _blatantly masculine clothing_ was going to cause me to suffer a massive amount of dysphoria later on but.. if I could manage to impress Jackie like this then everything would be okay, _right_?

 _Not like I ever could have a chance with her_ , I was reminded by my brain. _you, me, I am a girl. a transgender girl. and she is a cis girl. a cis girl who is almost certainly straight. and would not like me if she knew I was trans. So if I ever want to date her, I have to be Marco The Boy. not.. Me The Girl._ I sigh as I'm walking up the stairs. I know Star would tell me to be myself, but it was only last month that I managed to tell her and I don't think I'm capable of telling anybody else, parents included, for a very long time. She had been about as supportive as she could be. She had stopped using he pronouns for me around others when she could remember and had begun simply calling me "Marco" in front of everybody. Apparently trans people are well-accepted on Mewnie.

The two of us had gone shopping once after I came out to her. She tried to get me to put on a whole bunch of poofy, over-the-top frilly dresses and I had to explain to her that wasn't quite my style. I actually rather like my red hoodie; my red hoodie is simple and it feels nice. I wound up purchasing a good few skirts, mainly in blue, purple, and red and one or two dresses in case if we ever went out to dinner. I also got a blouse that I thought was cute... _Not that I'd ever be able to go outside in clothing that I want to be wearing, ballet shoes excepted_ the nagging reminder in my head returned to tell me. The whole group reached the top of the stairs and entered Star's room as I finished recollecting the memory.

All six of us gather around in a circle sitting down and Pony Head puts a weird looking cube with patterned lines down on the ground in the middle. Introducing the cube, she tells us "Alright everybody.. this is the game! It is called _Truth or.. Punishment! It is a great game for telling your friends all about your deepest, darkest secrets! Its a great bonding activity!_ " Pony Head exclaims at us. Meanwhile, I have gotten up and .am presently running for the door as if my life depended on it. _My deepest, darkest secrets? No thank you! Nobody besides Star here knows that I am trans and nobody else here needs to ever, ever know. Ever._ My mind is spinning too fast for coherent thought unrelated to panic and I'm trying to open the door but my hands are too sweaty and too fidgety from my nerves to turn the knob.

Somebody put their hand on my shoulder and I'm _scared_ before I realize that it was just Star. I turn around to face her, my eyes wide with panic. She pats my back softly and she whispers, "Don't worry, my girl, I'll try to do everything in my power to make sure that nobody has to know. Besides," she jokes, "stress isn't the most conducive thing to nervousness" and smiles as me. I smile back gently and walk back, next to Star, with my head hanging down. I wind up sitting down on one side of Star, with Jackie on my other side. Jackie gives me a smile and says "hey dude." I try not to grimace at the comment "dude," and smile back because Jackie just talked to me!

Then the cube glows a bright blue and a top cube pops up with fangs and everything. Kind of freaky. The cube speaks to us, "Are you prepared to play Truth or Punishment? I ask questions and you answer truthfully. If somebody does not answer truthfully, then an appropriate punishment will be given! Stick a finger in here to pledge your truth and agree to the rules!" the voice shouts at us. One by one, everybody else sticks in a finger and then says something along the lines of, "I pledge to speak the Truth." When it finally comes to be my turn to stick in a finger I suddenly feel a little nauseous. Star looks my way and nudges me, getting me to put my finger in and say "Truth."

The cube retracts the top head part and a spinning dial appears on the sides. The box speaks, "because of your annoying hesitation, I can tell you must be nervous about something. That you might have something to _hide_ , Marco Diaz. Remember, lies will be punished appropriately, everybody." It goes silent for a minute before retuning to speech as the dials spin with words, "What | is | your |" it pauses for a few seconds, "gender!"

I feel faint and look at Star quickly, far more terrified now than I ever was before. _Maybe the cube monster wants me to say what sex I am, what sort of genitals I have you know? Maybe it was just using gender as a synonym for that... I can't believe it. Does it hate me or something, does it already know the answer? Am I just going to be doomed to have eternal bad luck? What is everybody going to say_ ," thoughts run through and through my head and are certainly not about to stop any time soon and I feel Star grab my hand and squeeze it. She grins at my widely and speaks loudly at the group, "Nonbinary!" I gulp. _It really must want to know how we identify, if she was able to say nonbinary._ The annoying voice returns, "Well, you really are fucked now. Guess everybody is going to know now." Not willing to accept everybody knowing, I yell out, "I'm a boy!"

The cube flashes a bright red once and then returns to blue, the apparent neutral state. Everybody else goes on to answer "Girl." At the end of the round, the cube turns into the same bright red and booms, "Liar, Liar, New Attire. Somebody was a bad, disgusting, little liar." Everybody's clothing turns into a fancy collared button-down with a colored tie, fancy dress pants, and dress shoes. My mind flashes back to my memory of a nightmare I had of finding myself buried in a suit jacket in my coffin. My immediate response is to whimper and try to curl into a ball. When I don't tell the strange creature that I am a girl, it gives us all suit jackets to match. I can't honestly remember the last time I felt this uncomfortable in my own skin, this uncomfortable wearing something. The creature (demon?) approaches me and says, "Marco Diaz. You. Are. Lying." After a minute of suffering under the gaze of the cube, I finally manage to say the words: (as quietly as I can) "I'm not a boy. I'm not a boy at all. I'm a girl." Unfortunately, the creature does not appear satisfied and 'requests' that I repeat myself louder. With myself curled in a ball, I speak in a normal volume and tell everybody "I'm not a boy. I'm a girl."

The cube finally seems satisfied with my answer and flashes a neon green, with a sign saying "Truth!" on it. It takes off the clothing of everybody except myself, returning them to their previous outfit. Star seems to understand my plight and rushes over to me, who is beginning to ball up further. Pulling out her wand, she mutters a familiar spell that she's used on me a few times since I confided in her about being trans and my hatred of how my body looks: "Changing Bang, Satisfaction Range!" I feel the shape of my body shifting ever so slightly, to the more feminine appearance my mind would always come up with. Then she transforms my suit jacket back into my standard red hoodie with black leggings, a red lavender skirt, and the ballet shoes I had been wearing before. Cheeks tint pink when I realize everybody is quite obviously staring at me in my new form. I don't look radically different, but I don't exactly resemble the Marco they know. Even through the hoodie, my figure is distinctly not the rectangle it was before and my face has smoothed out a lot. My hair rearranged itself into something akin to a pixie cut.

The cube then decides to apparently surround the entire fucking room in its cube?

The next question it asks interrupts all of the conversation that had just started, "Who do you| Have a | Crush | ON?" After the last question that was asked, I figure that this one may as well be easy. The real secret I was hiding was being trans. I certainly would prefer if I could lie on this one as well, but last round showed how impossible of a task it is to lie to this thing.

I raise my hand to indicate I will speak first. Once again, Star looks at me, visibly concerned. She knows how bad I have it for Jackie, and how improbable it is she would like me back. Taking a deep breath, I let my back fall on to the ground and speak up. "Its Jackie. Jackie Lynn Thomas is my crush." It comes out in almost a monotone, as something I would clearly rather not admit. Next is Star who says, "Um... I'm actually,, not entirely sure. I think I like Oskar, but I'm not sure if I have feelings for somebody else or not as well." Star looks at the ground when she says this, which I can just barely see out of my periphery. _That's.. unusual to say the least. Star.. looking bashful about something,, what is happening?_ After that, Starfan13 (I think her name is Myra, or something like that) declares her love for Star Butterfly. Pony Head waits before telling us all that she loves herself, prompting an "aw" from the group. Janna admits to a crush on 18th Century Poet John Keats. When it is finally Jackie's turn she just answers, "I'm... I don't know." To the surprise of most of the group, given the ambiguous answers by Star and Jackie, the cube accepts all of the answers as "True!"

Finally, the cube asks everybody, "What is your favorite color." When nobody responds quickly, it adds, "Hey, this can be a touchy subject!"

I begin the circle once again and say it is sweater red. Jackie gives "neon green, yo!," Star "Yellow!" Pony Head, "Pony Head color, duh!" Janna, "... pink" she mutters. At first we just stare at Janna, waiting to hear her correct herself, because Janna liking pink goes against pretty much the entirety of life as it exists. Starfan13 says "I love yellow too!"

The magical cube seems satisfied with our answers and lets us go. Apparently it only wanted to do three rounds.

After everybody leaves, Star pulls me aside to have a conversation. Completely oblivious to what this could be about, I nod and come into her room. "Hey, um," she says, "I guess we both came out today huh?"

I answer, "Yeah, I'd thought that you were planning on keeping that nonbinary thing a secret from everybody.."

"About that," she tells me, "when I heard the question I thought _I know I could say I'm a girl and be truthful about that, since I do also identify as a girl._ But, knowing the predicament that you were in and knowing that you wouldn't be able to lie without punishment, I didn't think it would be fair to leave you hanging like that and not join you myself."

I pull her into a tight hug and thank her over and over again for all of her help. I may not have hormones, but for short term easement, having a magical roommate and best friend can help just a little bit. As Star walks away, I ask, "So.. who is the lucky one that you _might_ have a crush on Star?"

She says , "You'll find out eventually" while walking away.


	2. A Day in the Mall

Author's Note:

I want to make some things clear. If you do not like my portrayal of Marco as a trans girl then you are certainly entitled to that opinion, but I won't be changing how she acts fundamentally because of it. I see trans girl Marco as acting rather similar to how canon Marco acts except more comfortable with a lot of things and a little more feminine. If there are any specific scenes that people want to see, please leave me a review or a private message and I'll think about writing it up.

This is the second chapter...

This is going to be a Transgirl!Marco / Somebody? [Jackie? Tom?] and Star Butterfly / Janna fic.  
—

Chapter Two: A Day in the Mall

 _A week later and I still can't stop feeling scared about what happened. I guess that's what happens to "the safe kid"_ I quip at myself, _as soon as something scary happens, I just freak out. Just like the day I me Star._ I joke again, in my mind. I've been pacing my room for close to an hour now. Star has been trying to get me to come out to my parents. When she said that trans people are very well accepted on Mewni, I suppose she must not have been lying. I briefly wonder if that is why she doesn't understand my worries about coming out. Star does not get that on Earth,, people are not as accepting. I sigh, again, and flop back on top of my bed.

After breakfast, Star invites me to the go to the movies with her. She calls it a "girls' day out." I don't think I've ever had one of those before. I don't really recall anything of that sort. After a few minutes of thought, I ask Star, "yo Star.. about this "girls' day out you mentioned. Was that what those shopping trips were?"

She tells me, "not at all," and has a small laugh. "that was just shopping. it wasn't some big, whole-day-long thing." She waits a bit and reminds me excitedly, "that's what this is going to be!" while flapping her hands around and jumping.

The parents are out running errands, so they are not around to see the two girls leave their house, just as they did not see Star re-performing a body changing spell on their child. They walk to the bus station and take a ride to the mall. To the mall where Janna and Jackie are waiting.

#POV SHIFT, VEN(US) [Marco]

As Star and I are getting off of the bus, we see Janna and Jackie. I can't tell those two were hanging out, were waiting for us, of just happened to run into each other. Star gravitates towards Janna without a second thought, perhaps "without a first thought" and is immediately at her side. I gingerly step off the bus. I haven't talked to either of them since the sleepover happened. Jackie waved to me openly and Janna gave a more subtle wave with a smile.

I wave back to them with a grin. I do my best to push back lingering feelings of anxiety that have started to bubble up after seeing Jackie and Janna. Star sends me a knowing look, understanding my anxiety. I stammer, "I,, um,, I have something to tell you two? Star already knows this, of course. As.. As I said before, I'm a girl. And,, call me Venus?" I added on the last sentence equally as much a question as a request.

Surprisingly, both of them walk over to give me a hug (and a pat on the back). I let myself smile, it is really nice to have friends accept you. Janna walks back to Star and puts her arm around Star, "well then, Venus, shall we all get going?" she asks the group.

First, the four of us go see a movie. I manage to convince the rest of them that we should be seeing a Mackie Chan movie instead of the romantic drama _Solar Eclipse_. It was actually surprisingly easy to convince everybody. Jackie and Janna mess up my name a few times but it doesn't feel all too horrible when I know it is just a mistake. From there, we all go and visit a few stores — the others really want to go shopping. I pick out a few solid color leggings and a black skirt.

As the day goes on I notice Star and Janna leaning onto each other more and more. When we start heading to an ice cream shop, after shopping, I pull Star away from The Janna. "Okay, Star. You gotta tell me what is up with you and Janna. I've never seen you cling on to somebody like that before, and you're sometimes pretty touchy." and ask her, trying to be serious.

"I don't really know," she admits, "I try to pay attention to how I'm feeling and I go with my instincts a lot of the time. I mean, obviously mewberty was something much different but I always felt that thinking about all my choices would be really boring." she says with a shrug, "my instincts are telling me to get close with Janna."

"Okay.." I say, hesitantly, "I'll be here if you need something."

She smiles and nods. Then, Star grabs my hand and runs to the ice cream shop with me in tow. The shop is a three-story monstrosity. The first floor is filled with different types of Ice cream, with a few seats. The second story has complete glass panels on the perimeter to allow everybody to look out and the third story was a restaurant that specialized in ice-cream based recepies. It was one of the most unhealthy places you could go for food in town, but it was really good. Surprisingly good. One would think that there was only so much one could do with ice cream (and they are probably right), but there are many more ways to utilize ice cream than one would have thought. When we arrive back at the shop, I watch Star returning to the side of Janna and then notice a slight blush on Janna's cheeks? That's when it hits me, as to why Janna seems to fine with Star's behavior. _Does she... like Star_ , I wonder. I realize that just as I see Janna reach her hand down towards Star's. Instead of clasping the hand, Star walks forward and orders Blue Bubblegum ice cream. Jackie and myself order regular chocolate and Janna orders a cone of rainbow sorbet.

All four of us sit down at a booth table with our respective ice creams. I'm sitting next to the window, and Jackie sits next to me while Janna sits across from me and Star close to her. The booth isn't covered in ice-cream spills, but I always forget that because of how they designed the color of it. After a minute or so of silence, we begin talking.

Jackie starts, "Well,, today has certainly been a nice day."

"Yeah,," I say, "weird. But... nice. And for once, no Ludo with Star and I out of the house."

Janna takes a bite and then asks, "Does it really happen that often? Cause if it does, I gotta join you to."

The topics of conversation range from Ludo, to retelling the story of the St. Olga's prison breakout, to the Goblin Dog story, to Tom. We all talk about a lot of things and in the process, Jackie and Janna open up to us a fair amount. I learn that Janna and Jackie are both bi and that they met in the school's GSA meeting (they had known each other previously but had never talked.) Somehow, despite being the model student, I had not bee aware that Small Creek High School had a GSA at all. Star was confused as to what a GSA is. Eventually, our time is up and we all need to get back to our homes. Despite the quick leave we all take, the fact that Star and Janna were holding hands when they got up does not pass under my notice.

Star smiles at me as we walk back to the bus stop, "Venus~," she sings and then in a matter-of-fact voice, "I'm using your phone once we get back home. I got Janna's phone number. I wish to use it." My eyes widen when I hear that she had the phone number. I figure now that if things are this far, maybe I should see how Star is feeling, or if she feels the same way.

"Star," I say, trying to get her attention, "How... does it make you feel, being around Janna like you were today?"

"Happy! Glad,!" she replies immediately, "I feel really warm and fuzzy."

 _Shit_ , I think, _definitely sounds like a crush_.

Later, when we walk back home from the bus stop, I see the back of Star's neck and notice a new purple heart.

—

#So, I have this idea that even after the muberty transformation,,, the whole purple hearts will still pop up when she likes somebody. They start out as a purple and turn green or red depending on if they object of affection accepts her or not.  
I feel like she would worry a lot about relationships and her friends and how to help everybody out.


End file.
